Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Love and Basketball

First, the basketball...LET'S GO CAVS! They play tonight and I'm writing this before I go and meet my B.F.F. (lol) at some bar to watch the game. I am so glad they won the last game in New Jersey so they only have to win one more to take this series. If they win at home...tonight...damn, I wish I was going to the game but my PAB (punk ass boss) gave the tickets to some people from another site. Grrrrrr! Doesn't he see that big LeBron poster hanging in my office? That's not there just for shits and giggles, sir! Monie loves basketball and wishes you'd give her some damn playoff tickets! Oh well...my girl needs to get out the house so this will be a nice little reprieve for her.
Love: It seems like all my girls are losing their gotdamn minds for some reason. First, my B.F.F. I love her to death. She's a great girl. But her husband is possibly the mother of some other chick's daughter and she's actually being cordial to this ninja. Like, she's still taking him to work, letting him use her car (that he's not helping pay the note on), etc. Besides the fact that he's a hoe, he has a history of physical, emotional and mental violence. I don't understand it. My other girl is messing with a dude who she knows 100% for sure messed around on her with his ex while they were together. This is the chick who has dudes sweating her left and right whenever we go out, but is still messing with a dude who she says, out of her own mouth, is ugly. I thought she was getting it together for a second when she got her number changed to avoid him...he has it now and they just went out of town for her birthday. *smh*
My other friend is messing with a guy who doesn't want her to have a job, wants to know where she is 24/7, and flips out about the smallest things. Again, she is another one who says, out her own mouth, that her dude is ugly.
I am just...all the way confused. I cannot see staying with a guy who is that controlling, that...psycho! These are all really good girls and there are/were plenty of other dudes who would have treated them better...but they chose the losers instead.
Do you guys know anyone like this? What advice did you give them? How can I get through to these girls???

2 comments:

It is What It Is... said...

Well Monie,

First things first - your boy Lebron is the truth. He could get it anyday. Ok?? lol - GIRRRRLLL he is fine a shi...

Now - you're friends sound like SOME of my friends...not all but some. Hell, I've even experienced and been through some of the things you described years back.

My advice to you is just to be positive and speak encouragement to them - let them know that they deserve better...but you've gotta keep it real. A real friend will call a spade a spade you feel me?

But its hard, cause sometimes our girlz don't wanna hear that they need to put their baby daddy or boyfriend out. LOL - I know I wasn't tryna hear that shi...

I mean, I've had some arguments with friends over telling them the truth. But we made it through and they listened and made their own decisions.

A few years back, I used to be the friend that would roll w/ my home girl and bust the windows out and beat down another broad. LOL - but at some point, as women, REAL women, (I) we've got to grow up and just learn to say enough is enough and demand respect from these men who claim they love us and want to be in our lives.

So it takes time. It also takes maturity.

But most importantly, it takes SELF-LOVE to demand respect from our mates even if it means you won't have a warm body next to you at night.

PS. I started a sister-circle with my friends for this very reason. My friends were going through so much with life, men, etc. We need each other's support. So one night, get the girls together for some real talk.

Here's what you need -

Wine
Good Food
Candles
Relaxed atmosphere
A keep it real attitude with love
and 5 or 6 of your closest girfriends!

They will love it! We do it all the time!

Holla,
Jcroft

Monie said...

Hey JCroft,

I try to be a good girlfriend and just let them know that they're better than the men the keep around. All I can do is be there for them. But lawd knows it's hard. I just wanna shake some sense into em!

We used to have nights like that...we called them STRESS RELIEF PARTIES. LOL! We need to have one again soon...