That's gonna be a bitch.
Anyway, I'll post something more tomorrow. I have court at 1:30 regarding my criminal charges against The Crackhead. Until then I'll leave you with a post that I jacked from another blog I just started reading. Dude is 22 and has his head on straighter than alot of older cats I know. I don't think guys understand how FAR they can get with a chick if they just approach her the right way and be respectful. For instance, I was approached about a month ago by a guy. He was nice looking but what REALLY blew me away was how respectful he was. He asked for my number and I told him I couldn't go that route because I have a man (Hey, D. Love you.). I FULLY expected him to come with the line "So, you can't have friends?" But this dude comes out his mouth and says, "Ok, I see. I respect your man, your relationship. I just had to let you know that you're a beautiful girl. Take care, have a good day, sweetheart." Wtf? I was shocked for a quick minute. LOL! And it's so sad that I WAS shocked! Why can't all dudes just let you go on your way if you're not interested or involved with someone?
So, yeah, here's the post. Fellas, please take note. This shit here will get you MAD points.
I was listening to Kanye West's Late Registration Promotional CD which has alot of songs that didn't make the album. There's one song called Improvise...and one of the lines goes:
There must be more good women than men percentage wise
So her chance of having a husband just minimized
That's why alot of girls claim they ain't into guys
And mess with other girls part time to improvise...
We ball till we fall...hit the mall
After we hit...we don't call...
We ball till we fall...hit the mall
After we hit...we don't call...
Fill your lives with nothing but lies
And I would like to apologize
You can't stand right here and tell me everything's gonna be alright
You can't stand right here and tell me everything's gonna be alright
Cause until the day a real man steps up, I'm going to have to improvise
Now, is that what you want? Do you want to be a guy who's just a stand in, an improvisation? Or do you want to be that real man that steps up? I hear guys complaining all the time about how they saw this fine girl and she said that she's not into guys. Why is that? None of ya'll ever stop to think about that...all ya'll do is move on to the next 'skee-o' or 'bird', whatever you call females now. And it's a damn shame. For those real guys who want some help...read on...
First and foremost, I do not claim to be an expert on the opposite sex. If I was, I wouldn't have as many problems as I do. I'm not Hitch, so this post is not to be used as a guideline or a step by step booklet for you to obtain any female that you see either. This is only to be used by certain males who just don't have a f*ckin' clue.
We must get the basics out of the way first. Obviously, women are people too, so it would help matters if you treated them like people, and not objects, which they aren't. Whatever pisses you the hell off, will more than likely piss them off too. Personally, I don't like being called "Hey!", "Yo!", "Boy!", or nothing like that. Shit, I have a name. Ask me for that, and then we can talk. The same thing goes for females. Please, please please!!! Don't give us a bad name and call girls...especially the ones you don't know by name any of the following names: yo, girl, ma, shawty, any form of whistling or hollering, skeeo, bird, dame, hotty, cutie...or any derivative of those. And the cardinal rule. NEVER EVER call a woman a ho or a bitch. That's unacceptable on any level. The proper, and best way, to get someone's attention would be hello, hi, or something like that. Ask...ASK them for their names dammit. And use it. Make sure you remember it. Repeat it over and over in your head if you have to. And when the conversation is over...end it with something like "It was nice meeting you (insert name here). Hope to see/talk to you again sometime". That works. Use it. That works for anyone in any social situation. Oh yeah...another strict, very strict rule...if a girl passes you by, one that you don't know, but you want to get her attention...DO NOT GRAB HER. I mean seriously, what...the....fuck. We're not cavemen...we don't beat attractive females over the head with clubs and drag them back to our mud dwellings. That shit stopped like in the Triassic era. Leave it there.
Okay...lets say you miraculously got past the first step and asked the girl her name, and surprisingly she gave it to you. What next huh? Well, it all depends. Are you interested in her, or are you just trying to meet new people? If you're just trying to meet new people...just be truthful. Matter of fact, in any given situation, be truthful. That shit works. Live by it, die by it. Oh yeah...another important fact. It's cool to say that you saw her and thought she was attractive and you wanted to see what she's about...but please, please...find something else. Is she wearing anything unusual? Reading something? Carrying something? Something about her has to give you more information than just what she looks like. If you approach any female with "I think you're cute", or "you're fine, what's your number...", do you have any idea what that says to them? I'll tell you..."Hey, my name is such and such. I'm shallow as hell and I want to fuck you. When's a good time for you?" Now, do you really want to say that? No...of course not. If she's reading something, comment on what she's reading. If she's wearing some unusual jewelry, or a shirt that says something....something....comment on it. Here, it would help if you were also well versed and had a broad base knowledge about several things. I mean, obviously, you're not going to be able to comment on an anthropology book that she's reading if all you read are comic books. So, you have to broaden your horizons too.
And in the conversation, please listen. Try your hardest to listen. And interject when appropriate. I know most of you guys have an attention span of a catepillar...but you have to try on this one. Pay attention. Shit don't cost that much...just some of your time and mental resources. Listen to what she has to say. I know you hear her...but LISTEN. There's a big difference. And don't look bored when she's talking. Eye contact too dammit...don't look everywhere else wondering whats going on around you. And if you're too shy to make eye contact...keep your eyes around her face area. That would make it seem like you're giving eye contact. And don't go staring at something on her face either...that shit makes people uncomfortable. Aiight...a good hint if you're that shy and can't look someone in the eyes...look at either her eyebrows or just between her eyebrows. It would give the appearance of eye contact, and then you can work your way to real eye contact. And...I can't have to repeat this enough...here eyes are on her face, not her chest. And if she asks you questions...I'm going to have to ask you to give more than one word answers. You see how she's talking to you in coherent sentences with shit you learned in 5th grade...subject, verbs, and predicates? You do that too. Don't give yep and uh huh as answers. You look as smart as a brick when you do that. Sound interested in what she has to say. And when it comes to talking about yourself...please don't sound like God sent you here on earth with a mission to make everyone's life better. Everyone on earth is God's gift, not just you. Check your arrogance at the door. Keep it simple...talk about what you like doing, what interests you....goals, something. And if you don't have anything to say (please, come up with something), don't lie...cause those will follow you. Just say something like you're open to to try something new. Technically, that's not a lie, since you don't do shit, anything you'll be doing will be new.
And dammit...make sure you're clean. Would you want to talk to a dirty girl? Then why would a girl want to talk to a dirty guy? Some of ya'll are just...whoa. Would it hurt if you combed your hair and washed your face a lil? And damn...I know you don't feel cool with close fitting pants, but I'm gonna have to ask you to pull your pants up so they're not hanging all off of your ass. You think girls like that? Now, I'm not going to tell you how to dress, cause your style is your style...but at least try. And try to look neat too.
Please treat women with respect. The golden rule is golden for a damn reason. If it were called the platinum rule, I guess more of ya'll mofo's would follow the shit. Treat people how you want to be treated. Don't disrespect her...especially not in public. Talk to her like an individual...like a human being please. And no, she's not one of your boys, so don't talk to her that way. Believe it or not...most women are intellectual and don't want to dumb themselves down to talk to you.
I'm going to have to ask some of you to use some damn common sense. If they want you to call....please call. Would you like to wait by the phone? Of course not...then why would she? And if you really like her...you have to make sacrifices. Play ball with the boys or go out with the girl? Ummm...see, it depends. If you've been spending alot of time with her..and you're neglecting your friends, make that known. But if it's the other way around...your boys will be there later. And unless it's known from the jump that things are open...don't try courting other females (notice how I said 'court' and not 'holla'...you're not doing that anymore). First off...that's mad disrespectful. And it will complicate your situation to levels you probably won't be able to handle. Keep shit simple.
Now...I'm only here to get your foot into the door...I can't hold your hand all the way through it. And I know what you're thinking...that I must be some dating expert or something. Hell no. My dating life isn't what I would consider perfect by a longshot. I have so many problems, I don't even know where to begin. All I'm saying is that I've witnessed some of ya'll making so many missteps...that it's depressing knowing that I'm a guy too. I hope that all women don't think that we all act that way, cause we don't. There are still some civilized ones among us. I'm just sorry you have to wade through so much trash to find what you're looking for.
Now, is that what you want? Do you want to be a guy who's just a stand in, an improvisation? Or do you want to be that real man that steps up? I hear guys complaining all the time about how they saw this fine girl and she said that she's not into guys. Why is that? None of ya'll ever stop to think about that...all ya'll do is move on to the next 'skee-o' or 'bird', whatever you call females now. And it's a damn shame. For those real guys who want some help...read on...
First and foremost, I do not claim to be an expert on the opposite sex. If I was, I wouldn't have as many problems as I do. I'm not Hitch, so this post is not to be used as a guideline or a step by step booklet for you to obtain any female that you see either. This is only to be used by certain males who just don't have a f*ckin' clue.
We must get the basics out of the way first. Obviously, women are people too, so it would help matters if you treated them like people, and not objects, which they aren't. Whatever pisses you the hell off, will more than likely piss them off too. Personally, I don't like being called "Hey!", "Yo!", "Boy!", or nothing like that. Shit, I have a name. Ask me for that, and then we can talk. The same thing goes for females. Please, please please!!! Don't give us a bad name and call girls...especially the ones you don't know by name any of the following names: yo, girl, ma, shawty, any form of whistling or hollering, skeeo, bird, dame, hotty, cutie...or any derivative of those. And the cardinal rule. NEVER EVER call a woman a ho or a bitch. That's unacceptable on any level. The proper, and best way, to get someone's attention would be hello, hi, or something like that. Ask...ASK them for their names dammit. And use it. Make sure you remember it. Repeat it over and over in your head if you have to. And when the conversation is over...end it with something like "It was nice meeting you (insert name here). Hope to see/talk to you again sometime". That works. Use it. That works for anyone in any social situation. Oh yeah...another strict, very strict rule...if a girl passes you by, one that you don't know, but you want to get her attention...DO NOT GRAB HER. I mean seriously, what...the....fuck. We're not cavemen...we don't beat attractive females over the head with clubs and drag them back to our mud dwellings. That shit stopped like in the Triassic era. Leave it there.
Okay...lets say you miraculously got past the first step and asked the girl her name, and surprisingly she gave it to you. What next huh? Well, it all depends. Are you interested in her, or are you just trying to meet new people? If you're just trying to meet new people...just be truthful. Matter of fact, in any given situation, be truthful. That shit works. Live by it, die by it. Oh yeah...another important fact. It's cool to say that you saw her and thought she was attractive and you wanted to see what she's about...but please, please...find something else. Is she wearing anything unusual? Reading something? Carrying something? Something about her has to give you more information than just what she looks like. If you approach any female with "I think you're cute", or "you're fine, what's your number...", do you have any idea what that says to them? I'll tell you..."Hey, my name is such and such. I'm shallow as hell and I want to fuck you. When's a good time for you?" Now, do you really want to say that? No...of course not. If she's reading something, comment on what she's reading. If she's wearing some unusual jewelry, or a shirt that says something....something....comment on it. Here, it would help if you were also well versed and had a broad base knowledge about several things. I mean, obviously, you're not going to be able to comment on an anthropology book that she's reading if all you read are comic books. So, you have to broaden your horizons too.
And in the conversation, please listen. Try your hardest to listen. And interject when appropriate. I know most of you guys have an attention span of a catepillar...but you have to try on this one. Pay attention. Shit don't cost that much...just some of your time and mental resources. Listen to what she has to say. I know you hear her...but LISTEN. There's a big difference. And don't look bored when she's talking. Eye contact too dammit...don't look everywhere else wondering whats going on around you. And if you're too shy to make eye contact...keep your eyes around her face area. That would make it seem like you're giving eye contact. And don't go staring at something on her face either...that shit makes people uncomfortable. Aiight...a good hint if you're that shy and can't look someone in the eyes...look at either her eyebrows or just between her eyebrows. It would give the appearance of eye contact, and then you can work your way to real eye contact. And...I can't have to repeat this enough...here eyes are on her face, not her chest. And if she asks you questions...I'm going to have to ask you to give more than one word answers. You see how she's talking to you in coherent sentences with shit you learned in 5th grade...subject, verbs, and predicates? You do that too. Don't give yep and uh huh as answers. You look as smart as a brick when you do that. Sound interested in what she has to say. And when it comes to talking about yourself...please don't sound like God sent you here on earth with a mission to make everyone's life better. Everyone on earth is God's gift, not just you. Check your arrogance at the door. Keep it simple...talk about what you like doing, what interests you....goals, something. And if you don't have anything to say (please, come up with something), don't lie...cause those will follow you. Just say something like you're open to to try something new. Technically, that's not a lie, since you don't do shit, anything you'll be doing will be new.
And dammit...make sure you're clean. Would you want to talk to a dirty girl? Then why would a girl want to talk to a dirty guy? Some of ya'll are just...whoa. Would it hurt if you combed your hair and washed your face a lil? And damn...I know you don't feel cool with close fitting pants, but I'm gonna have to ask you to pull your pants up so they're not hanging all off of your ass. You think girls like that? Now, I'm not going to tell you how to dress, cause your style is your style...but at least try. And try to look neat too.
Please treat women with respect. The golden rule is golden for a damn reason. If it were called the platinum rule, I guess more of ya'll mofo's would follow the shit. Treat people how you want to be treated. Don't disrespect her...especially not in public. Talk to her like an individual...like a human being please. And no, she's not one of your boys, so don't talk to her that way. Believe it or not...most women are intellectual and don't want to dumb themselves down to talk to you.
I'm going to have to ask some of you to use some damn common sense. If they want you to call....please call. Would you like to wait by the phone? Of course not...then why would she? And if you really like her...you have to make sacrifices. Play ball with the boys or go out with the girl? Ummm...see, it depends. If you've been spending alot of time with her..and you're neglecting your friends, make that known. But if it's the other way around...your boys will be there later. And unless it's known from the jump that things are open...don't try courting other females (notice how I said 'court' and not 'holla'...you're not doing that anymore). First off...that's mad disrespectful. And it will complicate your situation to levels you probably won't be able to handle. Keep shit simple.
Now...I'm only here to get your foot into the door...I can't hold your hand all the way through it. And I know what you're thinking...that I must be some dating expert or something. Hell no. My dating life isn't what I would consider perfect by a longshot. I have so many problems, I don't even know where to begin. All I'm saying is that I've witnessed some of ya'll making so many missteps...that it's depressing knowing that I'm a guy too. I hope that all women don't think that we all act that way, cause we don't. There are still some civilized ones among us. I'm just sorry you have to wade through so much trash to find what you're looking for.
1 comment:
Who is this dude?!?? He's real smart! He needs to school a couple guys I know!!
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