Yoooooo...

Have you ever heard a story and thought..."Damn! That shit is CRAZY!" Well, today...that CRAZY shit actually happened to me. Check this shit out...

Way back in early March, my car was hit by a lady on my way to work. Neither one of us were going fast due to the traffic so it was really just a fender bender. I had a small crack, a scratch and a barely-there dent. We exchanged info but because she didn't want to go through her insurance and the damage was so minor, we said she'd just pay for the repairs. That was mistake #1.
I got some estimates...she got some estimates...she found a place out in the muthafuckin sticks that was reasonable. Little did I know this would turn out to be mistake #2. She tells me about this place. It's in Warren, OH...about an hour away from where I live. She said she'd reimburse me for gas so it was no prob for me to drive out there to drop my car off. Well, I get to Snipe's Automotive & Collision (no, I have no problem putting his shit on blast) and instantly I think...WHAT. THE. FUCK. First of all, the shop is tiny as fuck and smells like dirty ass wet poodles. The dude working there with Daniel Snipes (the punk ass owner) was very clearly drunk off his ass. Why I actually left my car there to be repaired...I'm still questioning that now.
Anyway...that was week 1. Yes, yall...WEEK 1. During this time, I was in contact with the insurance company. They told me there would have an adjuster go out and take pictures, etc. She informed me that this claim was not handled in the usual manner...the lady who hit me (let's call her Janet) did not report this to her insurance until the middle of that first week. So they had to do some investigatin and shit. That's cool. I had a ride to work and school and that's all I was concerned about. They assured me my car would be ready for pick up later that week. Week 2. Week muthafuckin 2. The insurance company saw that it was taking longer than expected to get my car repaired so they hooked me up with a rental car. They told me they'd pay for 3 days and if my car wasn't finished by then I'd have to take over the charges. I thought that was some bullshit but...what could I do? Plus, I figured within 3 days, my small crack, scratch and barely-there dent would HAVE to be fixed, right? Wrong!!!!
Wednesday of this week, I call bitch ass Snipes to inquire about my car. He asked me if I had received the check from the insurance company. I told him I had the shit. He told me that he needed payment before he could finish the vehicle. "Buuuulllllllshit!", I said. I told him that he'd get paid AFTER the job was done. He went on and on about how he needed the money to buy the paint and he couldn't finish without the money, blah blah blah. I had a feeling he was shitting me but at this point, I just wanted my car done. So I drove my stupid ass back to Warren to pay this fag-bait punk $820. Why didn't I just give him half instead of the whole payment? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! He told me I could pick up my car on Friday (today). He said the paint would be dry by then and I'd be good to fuckin go. Liessssssssssss!
I called him yesterday to inquire on the status and he said it was painted, done, just needed to dry. I wanted to go and pick it up then cause I really felt like he was fucking me over but he told me I'd ruin it driving it back to Cleveland in the rain. He said today at 3, it'd be ready for pick up.
I left work at 1, came home to charge my phone a little and called Snipes to tell him I was coming to get my car. Do you know what this muthafucka said to me???? He had a family emergency so he would not be able to give me my car until tomorrow. ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME???? I told him he needed to have someone open the shop for him. He said he didn't trust anyone else to have a key (not even your WIFE? For real?!). So I said, myself and a Warren police officer would come and get a key to get my car and he said he didn't trust the police. Word?! What they gone do? Steal your wrenches?! Grrrrrrrrrrrr! He kept telling me I was tripping and to just wait until tomorrow. I don't think this bitch realized that at this point, Monie was paying for the rental car...not the insurance company! True enough, it was only $24/day but I shouldn't have to and didn't want to pay it!!! Yall, I was so mad that I was close to tears. Have you ever been that mad??? Shit is not good. Anyway, I hang up on him (he wasn't talkin bout shit) and call Janet. She flips out and says she will meet me at his shop in an hour. I call my girl Ashmo (what up, Ash!!) and we (including her cousin Brandon) roll out to Warren. Get there, Janet rolls up and we call her police officer boyfriend to the scene. He tells me that there's nothing we can do and I just need to file a civil case on Monday. Fuck that, homie. I'm leaving this bitch with my car TODAY. We all wait until he leaves and Janet fucking breaks into the shop!!!! We all wanted to know if my car was even there so she took the steps to find out! LOL! She comes back out the window (lmaooo) and says my car is not there! Well...if my car is not at the shop (where it should be!), where in the hot fuck is it???
Earlier that week, he had given me another address so we just randomly go there...just to see if he lives there. Turns out it's his mother-in-law's house and she tells me that he told her that he still had my car because I requested another day. Say you swear!!! She also said he had been coming by a lot in "a little red coupe". My car is a burgundy 2005 Chevy Malibu. That sounds a lot a-fuckin-like "a little red coupe". Like...are you for real? You just gone drive my shit around like you pay the car note on it???? At this point, my anger is beyond normal levels and I'm ready to kill this dude. Before we left, momma-in-law kindly gave us the name of street where we might be able to find him. Momma...thanks for being a snitch! 'Preciate it!
We go over to this street and start driving through the parking lots...just on the off chance my car might be parked there. And then lo and behold...there's my car parked right the fuck outside this bitch's girlfriend's house! (Wife? Girlfriend? Wow.) As you can probably imagine, we caused quite a fuckin ruckus when we got there and saw my car so a few neighbors were poking their heads out their doors, being nosy. But thanks to them, we found out that this dude has been driving my car around for the ENTIRE two weeks, dropping his kids off at school, visiting his girlfriend, taking his wife to work... ("I thought he had gotten a new car" was one lady's comment)!!!!!!!!!!
We also found out exactly which apartment he lived in so Janet starts to beat his fucking door down. LOL! We saw the mini-blinds move so we knew someone was there. After threatening to call the police, he finally came outside. Looking like Who Shot John and Why. This jerk was CLEARLY not in Cleveland like he said he was. I went off. Shit, we all went off. Why the fuck isn't my car painted? Why the fuck is my car not locked up in the shop? Why the fuck this? Why the fuck that? It was a MESS. Ash has it all recorded on her phone. Fuuuuny shit. Anyway, I ask him why my vehicle is here and being used for personal reasons and you know what this bitch said? "I was gonna tell you that I was using your car and reimburse you". What the...how the...nikka you....omg the words just wouldn't come out of my mouth. Reimburse me how??? You gone put those miles back on my car???? Oh lawrd, yall, speaking of miles...I swear yall won't believe this shit. In the 2 week period he was driving my car to and fucking fro...he managed to put OVER 700 MILES ON MY SHIT! Yes. Seven. Zero. Zero. 700+ miles. Iiiiiiiiiiiii don't even drive 700 miles in two weeks! Yall, I was close to beating the brakes off this mofo but I tried to stay calm. Janet, however, did not. All I heard was WHAP!WHAP! Yes, she took her car keys and ASSAULTED this dude's face! Funniest.Shit.Ever. Brandon pulled her off and things got calm for a second. WHAP!WHAP! She did the shit again! lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I knew it was time to skee-daddle before somebody got lit the fuck up so I asked him when he'd have my refund since he didn't do the work on my car. He said he'd have it tomorrow. Riiiight. Janet said she'd drive back to Warren to get it and he'd better have it. He kept saying he couldn't believe we came out to Warren and did that to him, getting the police involved, embarassing him in front of his neighbors...mannnn...fuck yo life, dude. Was I supposed to let you put 700 more miles on my car?! I told him I'd see him in court and we left.
Driving home I noticed a few other discrepancies with my car. #1 Floor mats. Gone. WTF? #2 Cup holder has a burn mark like some asshole tried to put out a cig in it. I don't smoke. What the FUCK happened here?! The little button you press to adjust your side mirrors. Gone! Da hell?! The shit is not broke...it's GONE. Wooo sahhhhhhhh!
I'm home now and my car is home now. I've filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau and have started to get my paperwork together to file a civil complaint on Monday morning. I did some research and I believe that I can get reimbursed for the portion of the work he didn't finish plus all the damage inside of my car. Him driving my car around is what I believe to be "unlawful use of a motor vehicle" and I plan to have him prosecuted for that. That's a felony in Ohio. Searching the Trumbull County Clerk of Courts website, I found that he has been arrested for domestic violence, stalking and forgery. He had some shit going on with Worker's Comp as well but I couldn't get much info from the docket.
I can't wait to see this muthafucka in court. I want the judge to throw the book at his ass! I want his raggedy ass, two-bit shop shut down! I was ALMOST tempted to burn the shit down myself! LOL!
I'll keep the blog updated with all the happenings of what goes on and I'll try to post some pictures or audio of this crazy ass day.

P.S. *Fucking dead* Janet just told me that her brother *somehow* got into the shop and retrieved the paint and gloss that was supposed to go on my car. LMAO!