Fin

Alright, kids. I can't do this any longer. It's stressing me out, it's pissing me off and I don't like to be pissed off. Blogger and I are no more. It's been real.












































LMAO! I know I'm a part-time blogger (side eye'ing Milly) but I ain't giving up! Blogger has finally pissed me off so I'm moving to Wordpress. I've been over there cleaning up and getting ready for company so go check me out. I've moved my entire archive over there so update your links. Deuces!

My New House

Lake Erie

Diva, I'll do my fridge and cabinets post manana. Today, I am posting pictures from a week or so ago when my friends and I went to the beach.
I have more pics but Blogger is ACTING LIKE A BITCH and won't let me post them. I took a gorgeous picture of the sun setting but I can't post it. *sigh*








The natural exfoliation is so on point...

Copycattin'

MEME Rules:
1. Put Your iPod/ music player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
"So Special" - Dru Hill

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"Bad Girl" - Usher

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Get Money" - Junior M.A.F.I.A.


HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Got Me Going" - Day 26


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
“I Want You" - Marvin Gaye


WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"Flaws and All" - Beyonce


WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Kick Out of You" - Dwele


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
"Love Song" - Sara Bareilles


WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
“Turn Da Lights Off" - Tweet

WHAT IS 2+2?
"Heart Shaped Box" - Nirvana


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Always and Forever" - Luther Vandross


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Weekend Love" - Dwele


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"My Immortal" - Evanescence


WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Stars" - Kindred The Family Soul


WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Prototype" - Outkast


WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Love Don't Make No Sense" - Joe


WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Movin On" - Brandy


WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Oye Como Va" - Tito Puente


WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Your Eyes" - Xscape


WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Don't Speak" - No Doubt


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Spoiled" - Joss Stone


WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
“Fire & Desire" - Rick James



LOL! This was fun and some of these were sorta on point. LMAO @ what they'll be playing at my wedding.

I'm tagging anyone who wants to do it.

*sigh*

Blogger is being an extreme hater right now and won't let me post pictures. So, there goes that topic.

SBC has already blogged about it but we FINALLY met in person this past weekend. We went to C.alifornia P.izza K.itchen and had a fabulous time. Even after I spilled my Pepsi all over the table. Heh. She is as sweet as an angel on Sunday and just as cute as she wants to be. I wish I could put her in my pocket and bring her to work with me so I'd have someone cool to talk to everyday.
We made plans to meet up at least once a month to go try some restaurants and go shopping.
Girlie, we didn't take one picture to mark this event. What were we thinking??? LOL! Next time!

Uh, what else is going on? Ummmmm...

Sorry guys...my head is so messed up right now. I just bought a plasma TV and whenever I make a major purchase like that I have serious buyers remorse for a few days.
Ok, but listen...I had the money. I was planning on buying one. It was on sale on Best Buy's website. I had $100 in gift cards. It's a Samsung. It's the size I wanted.

ARGHGHGHGHGGGHHHHH!

Please, help me feel better. Leave some encouraging words in my comments!

Thoughts on Scorpio Women

Throughout my college career (lol), I have switched schools 3 times. I started out at The University of T.oledo. They gave me lots and lots of scholarship money so that was an obvious choice. When I left there, I attended Cleveland S.tate University. I had been there for a while before I decided to transfer to a school where my degree would actually mean something. Not knocking anyone who has graduated from CSU because at this point, you are doing better than me. But, and I know I'm not the only one who has this view, CSU is sorta like...grown up high school. I transferred to Baldwin W.allace and I am loving it there.
Anyway, at every school I have taken a computer related class. Windows, email, operating systems, etc. Stuff that I see and use EVERY DAY. I tested out of the class at UT. When I transferred to CSU, that credit didn't transfer with me. So, I tested out of it at CSU. When I transferred to BW, again...it didn't transfer. They won't let me test out of it but they are letting me take a CLEP exam for it. Have you guys heard of those? You pay $65 to take the exams that they offer and you get college credit for it. Well, I had never heard of them before I got to BW. Come to find out CSU offers it but my advisor NEVER said anything about it. That hoe.

So, blah, blah, blah, I was in the library the other day picking up some books on Visual Basic, Java, etc. I didn't know that the test covers these things so I have to study. I don't know shit about programming. As you can tell by this bare bones ass blog here.
Before I go up to the counter to check out, I come across this thick book about astrological signs and how each sign interacts with the other.
I picked it up and checked that out as well. I started reading it the other night and it's really good. I skipped right to the section called Scorpio woman (me) and Virgo man (D). It really fucked me up because everything it says is SO true. And it got me to thinking about me and how I behave in relationships.

The thing that really caused problems in mine and D's relationship was the lack of trust. On both our parts. I've never been the jealous type chick but I started to find myself acting that way with him. And that shit is yucky. So unattractive. I know now what caused all that but that ain't what this post is about. LOL

When I am in a relationship (and happy), I am the bestest girlfriend in the universe. For real. The cutesy shit, the freaky shit, the cooky and cleany shit...I do all that. In return, I expect you to treasure me. Make me feel protected and loved and it's all good.
I am fiercely loyal. So much so that I have a tattoo that simply says Loyal. That's a huge, huge part of who I am.
So in reality, no guy ever has to worry about me cheating. It just won't happen. Not only because it's happened to me and I know how that shit feels...but I really do take relationships seriously and cheating is not the business.
To me...it's like a gift. You treat me good and I will be the most loyal chick you have ever known. I take pride in that fact.
So, it's sometimes puzzling and frustrating when a boyfriend doesn't trust me. It's like...helloooooo, this is me. Trust is something you don't have to worry about. I love being in a relationship. I have no problem shutting other dudes down if they try to holler. I have male friends but if I tell you that nothing will ever happen, that's not something you'll ever have to worry about again.

So anyway, I'm reading this book and it's basically saying ALL of this. I wanted to smack D upside the head with it. LOL
He does think that I embody other Scorpio traits such as the craziness (LOL, Diva too), the stubborness, the sensitivity, the intensity. But he just don't get the loyal, devoted, and passionate part.

He will, though...he just doesn't know it yet. LOL


OFF - TOPIC - P.S.

I was on You.tube last night watching R.yan Les.lie TV, for some reason. I have always thought dude was a lame but my mind has been changed. That dude is SO SUPER talented! Watching him make beats is amazing. I love his voice, I love his mind. I have been converted.

Sisters

Hola peoples! How was your weekend?

Mine was good but busy.

Friday, my sister and I went to the movies to see Sex and the City. Of course. We were both big fans of the show (she owns the series DVDs) and I made sure to buy my tickets the day before so they wouldn't sell out. We loved it, by the way.
Before we went to the theatre, we went to Fuji, a restaurant similar to Benihana. The food was SO good. She tried plum wine for the first time. We had a bottle of that and sake as well. Needless to say, we had a good time. LOL
Interestingly enough, this has been the first time in a LONG time that my sister and I have gone out together.
As I said in my previous post, when we were little my sister and I were thick as thieves. Even through high school, we were close. The only thing we really argued about is clothes. We wear the same size so we were always in each other's closet. Chelle's style is great so I loved borrowing her stuff. And she liked borrowing mine but she would always ruin my shit. Leather jackets would come back ripped up. Sweaters with unexplainable stains that wouldn't come out. It got to the point where I told her she couldn't borrow my stuff anymore, period. When I went off to college, Chelle still lived at home with my parents. I still remember the night she called me at school and told me she was pregnant. I didn't believe her at first but as she explained it, I knew she was telling the truth. In high school, she was IN LOVE with this loser dude named Curtis. She'd sneak out the house at night to go see him, sneak him to our house when our parents were out or at work. I was in shock but oddly comforted by the fact that at least she had graduated high school.
I came home one weekend and she was watching TV on the couch. She hadn't told my parents about her pregnancy yet because she was still able to suck her tiny belly in. Later that night, she stuck her tummy out and I could tell it wouldn't be long before she couldn't hide it anymore.
A few weeks later, I got a frantic call from my mom. Did I know Chelle was pregnant??? Did I know she was having sex??? Did she tell me what was going on??? I played dumb. That's what siblings do. LOL
My parents told her that she had to keep the baby and made an effort to get to know Curtis' family. I'm sure they were disappointed at first but soon enough they were buying baby stuff and decorating the nursery. I'd come home some weekends amazed at how different Chelle looked each time. She was a stick so she was all belly. If you looked at her from the back, you couldn't tell she was pregnant. We'd go shopping together and at night I'd lay in the bed with her and rub cocoa butter on her stomach. At this point, she was still responsible. Taking classes at the local university and working a few days a week. Curtis's family pretended to support her.
On December 29, 2001 at 7:47 am, my nephew, Jalen Ray Murphy was born. My mom and I were in the hospital with my sister for 3 days while she was in labor. Where was Curtis, you ask? Shit, I'd still like to know the answer to that question.
After Jalen was born, my sister was still doing ok. She had the full support of my family even if she didn't have that of Curtis' family. Their role in Jalen's early life was spotty, at best. Chelle tried really, really hard to get them to do their part but they're heathens so it was almost impossible. Shortly after that, Chelle just...flipped out. For some reason, she wanted to be Ms. Independent and decided she wanted to move out. I think my parents were on her a lot as far as caring for Jalen. Chelle didn't know how to be a mother. And that showed in the nonchalant way she did things. This was my parent's first grandbaby so they weren't having it. I remember the day she moved out (into a friend's house with 56 other people living there) she wouldn't even let me hold Jalen. She was so PISSED for some reason. The people who had been there since she first announced her pregnancy, she was now against. I was hurt and I didn't understand.
She'd bring Jalen around sometimes but it was hard to go from having him around all day every day to only seeing him a couple times a week. She eventually moved into a 1 bedroom apartment down the street from my parent's. She really wanted to prove that she could do this on her own. We saw Jalen more but we also saw Michelle turn into someone we didn't know.
To this day, I still cannot say that I don't think my sister was on drugs. She just acted so...crazy, I didn't know what else it could be.
She'd have all types of people at her apartment at all times of the day and night. She'd have dudes spending the night when she and Jalen shared a bedroom. I know she was smoking around him because he'd smell like smoke when I saw him. I think she always made sure he was fed but she was losing weight like crazy.
At one point, I was living in the same apartment building as she was. I was on the first floor and she was on the fourth. I'd go upstairs sometimes to visit and no one would answer the door. I could hear Jalen talking to me through the door but he was too little to open it. My sister would be passed out in the other room. I'd try to get Jalen to wake her up but she wouldn't budge. Imagine if something were to happen to Jalen while she was asleep. This was my constant worry.
We all tried to talk to her. She didn't want to hear it. She'd curse and argue and even walk out. My mom would pop up just to see who my sister had at her apartment. If they looked shady, she would run them outta there.
My sister kept losing job after job and eventually got evicted. Her car was also repossessed. She moved back in with my parents for a while but she was so unruly that my mom kicked her out. But my parents told her they were keeping Jalen with them. Fortunately, my sister agreed that would be for the best. She didn't have anywhere to live, really. She moved in with a friend and Jalen continued to live with my parents.
You could see the difference in him. He thrived in the stable home environment that my parents offered him.
When my sister came around, she was often drunk or high. She claimed up and down that she didn't smoke weed but you could smell it all over her. Again, we all tried to talk to her but she blew us off. My mom threatened to file for custody if Chelle didn't get it together and my sister threatened to hate her forever.
About 6 months ago, my parents allowed my sister to move back in. I don't know what the change was for her but it was extreme.
Michelle obtained and kept a job. She enrolled in Medical Assistant classes and dropped all the people she used to hang around. She started going to church and spending QUALITY time(fishing, bowling, movies - not just sleeping while he watched cartoons) with Jalen. She started helping out around the house. Cooking, cleaning, paying bills.
She is now on the Dean's List at her school and will be graduating in September. Jalen is on the President's list at his school and is doing so, so well.
Before, Chelle and I didn't see each other or talk to each other. Talking to her was like talking to a brick wall. The people that she surrounded herself with influenced her in so many negative ways. We were not close at all.
Now, she and I talk a couple times a week. We talk about school and boys and clothes and hair and makeup. I feel like I have my sister back and I thank God for that.

Kids

Me, my brother and my sister are all pretty close in age. My brother is only 3 years older and my sister is 2 years younger than me.

I'm pretty sure me and sis got along for the most part when we were small, hellish tikes but me and my brother were ALWAYS going at it.

I think it all started when I slapped an orange section out of his mouth. From that point on, he plotted and schemed on my demise.

I remember one time he put handfuls upon handfuls of grease in my freshly washed hair. That thick Blue Magic shit. Then he took me into the bathroom with a pair of scissors and cut all my hair off. All of it. I think I was 4, maybe 5. Needless to say my mom beat.his.ass.

That didn't deter him. My brother had a huge collection of Hot Wheels cars. When the older ones got all messed up, he'd take the tires off and try to "repair" it. He was dumb. Anyway, he decided to give my 2 year self one of the tires from his Hot Wheels car. I promptly put it in my mouth and CHOKED! Like, face turning blue choking. My granny came into my room to take me out of my crib and damn near broke my back trying to beat the tire out of my throat. I finally coughed it up. Needless to say my mom, granny and daddy beat.his.ass.

My brother and my nephew were in town this past Memorial Day weekend and we sat and reminisced on our childhood stories. We have tons. We were truly some little hellions. Only my brother and sister got caught, though, so I'm still looked at as the angel. What?! You mean to tell me, you believe this little face could do ANYTHING wrong?

Me and Flat Randy

So, Knockout Zed sent me his homie Flat Randy and asked me to show him a good time around the city of Cleveland. Yesterday, on my lunch break, Flat Randy and I took a stroll around downtown. Here are the pictures:

First, we went to Willard Park. Randy had heard about the Free Stamp and he wanted to see it in person. He jumped right on it and I took the picture.

He was ready for his closeup.

Next, he wanted to visit the War Memorial Fountain across the street in Memorial Plaza. He had heard how beautiful it was when it was lit up at night and definitely wanted to add a picture of it to his photo album.

I convinced him to take a picture standing near the fountain although he was afraid of getting his curly 'fro wet.

Next, we visited the world famous Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum. Randy first took a picture with the sign:

Then he jumped in the bushes and took a picture in front of the building.

Randy went inside the Hall and rocked out with his cock out. When he came out, he thought he was a superstar and had me take a picture of him playing a guitar.

By this time, my lunch break was over and I was ready to go back to work. Randy wanted to continue to kick it so I left him to his own devices and we parted ways. I'm not too sure where he went.

Heh.

I would have taken pictures with Randy but that whole windswept hair thing is not a good look on me. It was windy as hell yesterday. This was pretty fun and damn if I didn't get some exercise walking around the city.

So, who wants Randy next? All you have to do is take pictures with him around the city you're in, post about it, and then send him to another blogger. Let me know in the comments!

Updates and Such

LOL! I know...how do I go from saying I'm gonna post every day to...this?

Let me explain. The reason I've been away for so long has to do with the j-o-b. I'm able to share with you what is public knowledge but I ain't tryna get fired so...that's all I got.

So...I work for a global gaming company. We primarily provide services for state and country lotteries. We build the lottery machines that you see at the corner store near you, we design the games and instant tickets, etc. I believe that we are the vendor for most of the states that my readers are from. I know we are in Georgia, New York, California...

Anyway, my company has been the vendor for my state's lottery since the early 80's. Every 10 years or so, the lottery has to decide whether they will renew their contract with us or go with our competition. This is not just because I work there, but I really do believe that my company is far better than any other company out there. We only have 2 major competitors but they mostly do foreign lotteries. They don't really have a foothold in the U.S.

The contract was up for renewal this year. We submitted our bid (our competitors did as well) and we were pretty confident that we would win.

Well...we didn't. And that shit has everyone shook! For good reason. We all basically have about a year to find another job. I'm not so much worried about myself. To be honest, I was sorta looking anyway. Me and my boss aren't jiving so much and since we work so closely together, it just isn't a good situation.

Example: When I was hired, I was a II level Admin. There was a Regional Coordinator above me. She was my boss. We got along great! My current boss was her boss. She didn't jive so much with him either so she moved to Marketing. That left her position open. I was promoted into it. In less than a year. *popping my collar*
Anyway, she was supposed to move out of the Admin office and into a cubicle. I think my boss was sorta scared of her so he never made her do that. I had my little office and she still had her office. I was fine with it.
Not too long ago, she left the company. I was expecting to move into her old office. It is where a person in my position usually sits. It wasn't a HUGE deal because I have an office but that one was bigger and all the employee files were in there. Sorta stupid for me to continue to sit in my office and have to walk down to that one, unlock the door, get the files I need, lock the door back, do what I need to do in the file, go back to the office, unlock the door, put the file back, lock the door and go back to my office.
So, one day I pulled my boss aside and asked him if I would be moving into the bigger office. Now, we haven't been getting along for a while. I sorta think he hates me. He asked me what I needed to be in there for (wtf?) and I told him that is the Coordinator's office and all the employee files were in there. He said he would think about it. What there is to think about...I don't know.
Oh, but I knew that following Monday. I walk into our suite and there is the big ass filing cabinet with all the employee files...sitting in the area outside my office.
LMAO! Instead of just letting me sit in the office (that still to this day is vacant as hell) he put the filing cabinet where it would be more "convenient" for me.
Right...that's the type of asshole shit he does.

Anyway, like I was saying, I'm not so much worried about me. I'm more worried about the people who have been there for 15, 20 years and are making tons of money. It might be hard for them to go to another company and still make that much.
Since I am my site's HR contact, I have been getting a massive amount of phone calls EVERY DAY about this stuff. Everyone is really panicked. Yes, you have a year to find another job but it's not that easy for everyone.

So, this is why I have been away. Tons of meetings, working late at night...it's just been crazy. And the last thing I wanna do when I DO get home is blog.

Shit! I have an appointment in 15 minutes. I'll try to update again soon. No more evil messages!!! *side eye*

I know, I know...

I am awful. I haven't posted shit in days...
It's just really crazy round these parts lately. Job stuff, boy stuff...jeeeez!
I am off tomorrow so I plan to post again then. Love me, forgive me.

Muah beetches!

Details!!!

I have none. I didn't go.

Ha!

We had set it up for Saturday. Friday night I went out, drank too much, my BFF sprained both her ankles somehow so we didn't do the charity walk that we were scheduled to do that morning. J.R. called me around 11 and asked me how the walk was. I told him that I didn't do it but that I still planned on coming. I told him that I had a few errands to run and that I'd call him back. Well, I called. And called again. He never answered. I chalked it up. He called me back later that night, around 10:30 pm. I asked him what happened and I can't even remember what he said. Some lame excuses about how he took my response about errands as me not really wanting to come visit. *eye roll*

So I asked him what was up with Sunday. I told him I'd go chill with my mommy for a while and then I could hit the road. He said that was fine. I told him I'd call him when I woke up, when I got to my mom's and then before I left.

I called him at 10AM. Talked to his brother but not to him. I called again at 1PM. Talked to his brother but not to him. At this point, I figured I wouldn't be seeing him. I was right. He didn't call me and I certainly didn't call him. Haven't heard from him since that other night. I'm not really sure if he'll call. He'll probably wait a couple days...give me time to cool off. Or if he really has balls, he'll call me tonight.

How do I feel about this? Well, I know J.R. and I know how flaky he can be. He probably made these plans with me knowing that he'd just ignore my calls anyway. To be honest, I'm pissed. I CANNOT STAND this passive aggressive, flake shit. Because I know him, I should have known better.

I won't stay mad for long. He doesn't deserve that. But all the excitement I felt about seeing him and rekindling that friendship...gone. If I happen to be in Columbus and he happens to be free, maybe I'll see him. But as of right now...eh.

And I know what you guys are thinking. Yes, I know it was Mother's Day. But their mother passed away over 10 years ago. I have visited him before on Mother's Day. And really, if he didn't want me to come or he wasn't prepared or WHATEVER, all he had to do was say that. I would have been ok with it.

Oh well.

:::

Yesterday, when I was over my parent's house, my mother told me that she had a dream about my uncle who just passed. So far, me, my mom, my brother, grandmother and father have all had dreams about him. And in each one, he is cutting up in Heaven and saying over and over that he's ok.

I really do believe that loved ones who have passed visit you in your dreams so this was good news to me.

:::

Jas, I will be in NY this weekend. On an oh-so-hood-rich shopping bus trip. I think our first stop will be Canal Street and then we hit some different areas. I know our last stop will be Sylvia's in Harlem. Feel like making a trip to the city and meeting your mostest favoritest blogger in person??? Email or text me...

:::

Rah, just an FYI, you can use that whenever you want. ; )

If you don't, I will divorce you.

:::

One of my VA boys, Smurf, is in China right now for work. Imagine how freaked out I was when I read on Yahoo's homepage about the monster earthquake they had today. Thank God, he is ok.

:::

Yeah so...I got some jewelry this weekend. As a "gift". That I can't keep. It's so my style...I guess he was listening all those times. *sigh*

:::

GO CAVS!!!!

That is all. LOL!

Hello, my lovelies!

I am back. And so glad to be able to sleep in my own bed. I don't care what anyone says...those Sleep Number beds are some bullshit.
I enjoy being out of the office but I'm not so sure I'd like having to travel a lot for work. Besides not having the comfort of home, when I do return to the office, I always have a shitload of work to do. I take my laptop when I travel and I do have remote access to my email but I don't have access to our server which is where a lot of my daily work is located. Headache, much?
Anyway, because I am swamped, today's post is all about the pictures. Enjoy!




Remember the 23 cent pizza debacle? This is the government cheese-like line that formed around the building at the location on Lakeshore Drive. From what I heard, that parking lot and all the surrounding parking lots were packed. Has it ever been that serious for a one topping pizza? Ever?

Ashmo and I went out a few weekends ago and she sent the pics to my email last night. LOL @ this pose. It's not quite Banana Pudding-ish but still hot, right? Do not mind the deoderant in my pit. It could have been worse. There could have been some funk there. Instead, I was so fresh and so clean.

Me and my boy, Cheech. He was tryna look hard. He failed.

Ashmo, Shannon (one of the VA boys) and myself. Parking lot pimping.

Ashmo, Cheech and myself. Yeah, don't ask cause I dunno.

The end of the night. Smooches!

*hiccup*

I meant to tell yall that I am in Pittsburgh for the next two days for training. Blah. There's nothing here but Steelers fans. *vomit*

Anyway, I won't get a chance to post again until Friday when I'm back in the office. I am going to make an attempt to read blogs now but...I've been drinking and I can't guarantee that my comments will be coherent. Forgive me. LOL!

Byeeeeeeee! *burp*

Continuation

Where did we leave off?

Ah, yes...

"When I got home I sent J.R. a heated email about how he dogged me, how I held him down for 3 years, and how pissed I was that he had another chick. He wrote back an equally heated email. But I knew it was bullshit. I knew he didn't mean a single word. Despite that, though, we didn't talk again.

Until this past Tuesday night."


During the time that J.R. and I weren't talking, I'd sometimes Google him to see if I could find any info. I was no longer angry and I just really missed him.
I never found anything and just chalked it up. He was always in the back of my mind, though. I'd wonder how he was, how his family was, his daughter...
About a month ago, I decided to stop searching for his name and search for his sister's. I remembered that back in the day, she was in law school and she was very active in the community. I can't tell you how many walks she had me doing for this cause or that cause whenever I'd go visit.

I Googled her name and found a few interesting things. I was able to see what she'd been up to lately (Google is a bitch, ain't it? LOL) and then I hit the jackpot. I found a community law firm website. I KNEW it was her. And I was shook. All her contact info was there. I could easily pick up the phone and call this woman who I'd been so close to in the past. So what was stopping me?

I went back and forth in my mind for a few hours. I emailed TomGurl (love that chick!) and asked for her advice. We discussed the situation and she told me to go for it. That was really the last little push I needed.

I called. I got the receptionist. Sis wasn't in the office but she'd be back later. I left a message with what I was calling for and my cell phone number.

And then I waited. And waited. And waited. I complained to TG and waited some more.

And then last Tuesday night my phone rang. It was a 440 number. I thought that maybe it was one of my field techs. I considered not answering but then I figured if they were calling me that late, it had to be important.

"Hello, this is Monie."

"Damn, I'm impressed by your detective skills, Marie."

I knew instantly who it was. We'd been calling each other by our middle names since we'd first started writing all those years ago. The thick NY accent gave it away as well.

After my initial shock, we caught up a bit. He was fine, his family was fine. His grandma, Nonnie, was still alive. His daughter is turning 13 in September. He still worked for the same company. I asked him how he was calling from a 440 number and he told me he'd been living in Columbus, OH for about 3 or 4 years. Columbus is only two hours from me! All this time, he'd been right under my nose! We made plans to talk again the next night.

I called him Wednesday night and didn't hear back from him. I called him again on Thursday and didn't hear back. At that point, I figured he was having second thoughts about the whole situation and was taking the easy way out. I wasn't mad...just a bit sad.

I cried to TG and she told me to buck up and just see what happened. I waited it out over the weekend and finally caved this morning and called him. This time I left a message. I told him I understood if we couldn't talk but that I'd enjoyed hearing from him and knowing that he was doing well. I left my number and told him that if he wanted to call, he could.

He called me back this morning as soon as he woke up. He said that of course, he wanted to keep in touch. He told me that he'd just been really busy.

I'll take that for now. LOL!

We chatted for a few minutes and he asked me to come visit him. We made tentative plans for this coming Saturday.

After we got off the phone, I immediately emailed TG. Hahahahaaa! I feel nervous but excited at the same time. I cannot wait to just...hug him. I may have mentioned in my other post about J.R. that he gives THE BEST HUGS EVER IN THE HISTORY OF HUGGING.

I will, of course, update about this if the meeting takes place. Fingers crossed!

Bad Move

Check this shit out:

CLEVELAND -- Papa John's Pizza issued an apology to Cleveland and the Cavaliers for making T-shirts with LeBron James' number and the word "crybaby" under it.
To apologize, Papa John's will sell Cleveland residents a large, one-topping pizza for 23 cents on Thursday. The 23 is an homage to James' jersey number. The company also will donate $10,000 to the Cavaliers Youth Fund.
The pizza chain's T-shirts were featured during the Cavs' games against the Wizards on Friday in Washington. Wizards fans taunted the Cavs, who won the playoff series that night in Game 6.
The shirts started after James complained about hard fouls, and Wizards center Brendan Haywood called him a crybaby.

First...HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!

Aw, shit! This is almost the funniest thing I have ever read.

Who the hell at Papa John's said that yes...it will be a great idea, a grand idea to sell T-shirts mocking one of the greatest in the game? Oh, and be sure to put our logo on it! To hell with any backlash this may cause! It will be funny!

BWHHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

My personal opinion: At times, LeBron can be a big ass crybaby. He's always talking about how big and tall he is and how he used to play football. But...he gets knocked down and lays on the floor like a bitch. I even thought what Brendan Haywood said was pretty hilarious.

Despite all that, though...I would have never thought a major pizza chain would do something stupid like this.

23 cent pizzas? LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I might order 100 pizzas and go pass them out to bums Downtown. What should you tip your delivery person???

Oh, hell...LMAO!

More Lyrics + The Nerd and the Jailbird

I might as well own stock in iTunes because I am a downloading fool! *smh*
I bought this song by Raheem Devaughn and I love it. Decided to share. Download it. I highly recommend.

Love Drug

I'm a loveaholic for you
Plus the fact that my love is
My love is dope
You've got me hooked
I've got you sprung
Now add that up
And you're my love drug
I'm your love drug
You're what I need
And I'm your pusherman

You're pure as snow
From Columbia
You keeps it tight for me
Like Zip-locs
And I get sky high
When we lip lock
And you get sky high
When we lip lock
You search for me
With a flashlight
In the daylight
Cause I'm your get right
See, no one serves you up, girl
Like I can
I'm your Mr. Midnight
Pusherman

(CHORUS) I'm your drug
You can't kick it
See, you're so addicted
Cause I'm your drug
You're my drug
I can't kick it
You got me so addicted
See, you're my drug

See, my urge gets fulfilled
When you come through
I love every little bit of ounce of you
See, you're back for more
And I'm re'ing up
You're floating now
That's that good stuff
And that's all day
(I'm stoned, she's stoned)
And all night
(We bang, we bone)
Now hurry back soon
I'm in demand
Cause I'm your pusherman

CHORUS

I can't, I can't
Give her up, give her up
She can't, she can't
Give me up, give me up
She keeps me feenin
Got me lost, eternal
I can't, I can't
Give her up, give her up
She can't, she can't
Give me up, give me up
I keep her feenin
Got her lost, eternal

CHORUS

I'm your drug...you're my drug...I'm your drug...you're my drug...

::: <--- (Mia, totally stole that from you, btw)

Now that Diva, Milly and Nina have RUINED my story LOL I'll tell the condensed version.

In his letter, J.R. told me about why he had been in the hospital and why he was now in jail.

He, his girlfriend and his friend Jermaine were all out one night. They had been drinking but nothing too crazy. J.R. was driving home when they hit a patch of black ice and he lost control of the car. They crashed.
J.R. and Jermaine were seriously injured. J.R.'s girlfriend died.

Girlfriend's family pressed charges and J.R. was sent to jail. He was also forbidden to have any contact with the infant son he had with the girlfriend.

For the three years he was in jail, we wrote letters to each other. He sent pictures, I sent pictures. When he had access, he'd call me or leave sweet messages on my pager. LOL! He'd get the artistic dudes to decorate my envelopes before he sent them and I'd have my friends send him silly notes along with my letters.
I kept every single letter, note, everything he sent me. I had them all in a box that I kept next to my bed.
When his bid ended, I was in college and living in an apartment with a friend from high school. We discussed me coming to see him and made plans.
I remember the bus ride like it was yesterday. I remember the crazy dude wearing all blue with a big ass mustard stain on his shirt. I remember the old lady sitting next to me who I thought was nice until she kept falling asleep on my shoulder.
I finally got to Buffalo and my stomach was in knots. And then I saw him. Walking towards me with that NY swagger. He gave me the tighest, longest, best hug ever.
We stopped at the gas station and he bought me a package of mini chocolate chip muffins. I ate them and put the package in my purse. It was going in my letter box.

The rest of the weekend was a blur. His brother had set up an apartment for him. I remember the hardwood floors and the big windows. I remember the name of the street and how hard his bed was.

Over the next couple years, me and J.R. were tight. I'd travel to Buffalo almost every other weekend to see him. When I got a car, I drove once or twice. He came to Cleveland once or twice.

The last time I was there, I could tell there was something different. He wasn't as affectionate, he seemed distant and he didn't want me to stay at his apartment. I knew then that something else was going on.
I was at his sister's apartment alone, while he "made a run". My cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number but because it was a 716 number, I thought that maybe it was J.R. using someone else's phone.

I answered. It wasn't J.R. It was a chick. She asked me who I was. I asked her who she was. She asked me how I knew J.R., I asked her who this was.
Through our convo, I found out that she worked at J.R.'s job. They had been dating and she got my number from his phone. She said she was ok with him having female friends but she wanted to be friends with them also. She asked me if I was in town. I told her that I was. She asked if J.R. and I had had sex. I said no.
I don't know why I lied to her. Maybe because she seemed nice. Maybe because I didn't want to get J.R. in trouble with her. I don't know.

We eventually got off the phone and J.R. got back. I asked him who the chick was and we got into a huge argument. It was near time for my bus to leave and he said he couldn't take me. He called his brother and told him he'd have to come pick me up and take me to the station. Then he left. I was PISSED!
His brother arrived and picked me up. He wondered why I was at sis' apartment but didn't ask too many questions. I told him that I had left something at J.R.'s apartment and that I needed to go back and get it. We get there and he lets me in. I go straight to J.R.'s bedroom and see a purse hanging on the doorknob. I knew it was that chick's purse. I was SO tempted to release my anger and destroy his apartment but I didn't. I had the opportunity but to be honest, I didn't want J.R. to think that I was that type of chick.
I got to the bus station and left. I haven't been to Buffalo since. That was about 7 years ago.

When I got home I sent J.R. a heated email about how he dogged me, how I held him down for 3 years, and how pissed I was that he had another chick. He wrote back an equally heated email. But I knew it was bullshit. I knew he didn't mean a single word. Despite that, though, we didn't talk again.

Until this past Tuesday night.

To be continued...

(I'm getting good at these Rah endings...LOL)

Back In The Day

Dammit...Charles called me out. LOL!
Thanks, C. I am trying to keep it going.

Anyway, here's a story.

Back in the day when I was in the 10th grade, I took a specific curriculum at school. I was in Advanced College Prep classes concentrating on Accounting. That meant, most of my school day was spent in Accounting classes and then the 2nd part of my day, I got to leave and go to my "internship", doing Accounting work for a commercial landscaping company.
(Aside: During my time there, I was in the best shape of my life! Not only did I do their Accounting work, I also got to help out on the lots. Planting trees, hauling 20 lb bags of soil or loading bales of hay. It was great!)

So, because I was in these classes, we would have competitions against other schools in our region and state. My 11th grade year, my class made it to the state competition. A bunch of nerds, man. LOL!
We were in Columbus, OH. We had just completed a day of testing and we all went to the mall to relax and eat. I was in a store when I looked towards the entrance and saw a cute, tall guy walk in. He was medium brown color with curly hair...exactly what I was into!

We made eyes at each other for a few minutes before he walked over and asked me my name. We talked for a second and exchanged contact info. He wasn't from Ohio...he lived in Buffalo and was there visiting friends. So in addition to his phone number, he gave me his address.

We left the store, my friends and I left the mall and for about a month I forgot about this guy. One day I was cleaning out a purse when I came across the scrap of paper with his info on it. I tried calling the number he gave me but it was disconnected. I decided then to write a letter and just wait to see what happened.

About 3 weeks later, I got a call from J.R. He said he'd gotten my letter and that he couldn't talk long because he was in the hospital. I asked him if he was ok and he said he was and that he would call me back soon. I didn't hear back from him for about a month. I got a letter in the mail from his sister. Inside was another envelope with a letter from him. I understood right away why why he had done this. The postmark on his envelope let me know that he was writing to me from jail.


To be continued...


(LOL! Ending a la Rah!)

Quick

I am making a conscious effort to post every [week]day. Have you noticed? However, I am swamped with even more work than usual because we are having our yearly audit. I have to sit with the guys from PWC almost all day.

So here's something quick for yall.

Check out this website:

http://www.like.com

It uses visual search technology to help you find clothes, shoes, bags, etc.

I heart shopping so I was really into this for the 3 minutes I actually had to look at it.

More later. Love you! Mean it! Bye!

What The Hell?

Ok...dammit.

Blogger is acting better now and it's allowing me to post pics. I don't have the Vegas ones on this computer but I have the one that Ash and I took with Eric Roberson and his band when we were in Bmore.

I'm on the far right.

So, yall know how I have great ideas about what I want to post about and then I have a gargantuan brain fart and forget it all?

Well, I'm reading other blogs and remembering. Randomness...

*I am shrinking. I have been 5'7 for the longest. D kept telling me that I'm shorter than that but shit...if my doctor says I'm 5'7 then I'm inclined to believe him. Well, D measured me this weekend. How am I now 5'5.5? What in the fuck is going on? I don't wanna be short! Nothing against my shorties (*snicker @ Diva*) but I enjoy being taller.

*Way back when, when me and my sis were in high school, she had a lotta enemies. The thing about sis is that she has a big mouth. Always talking shit, very belligerent. Loves to argue and fight. Me, I'm not into it unless you test me.

Well, we were walking home from the mall one day and we were about...10 houses away from our house. A group of girls that hated my sister were on the porch of one of those houses and saw us. They started yelling stuff at us and of course, my sis started saying stuff back. I'm trying to grab her and pull her to the house cause let's be for real...there were about 6 BIG chicks on that porch. Me and my sister were sticks in high school...I realized what the odds were. LOL!

The girls come off the porch and follow us down the street. My sister is hindering our progress to the house cause she's talking shit to the girls. I'm trying to drag her because again...I realized what the odds were.

Soon enough, though, the girls catch up to us. My sister had a long ponytail and one of the girls grabbed it. My sister fell backwards and about 3 of the chicks started hitting her. I panicked LOL and then realized that I had a padlock on my key chain. So I started swinging it. I hit one chick in the head and she was startled for a sec but she kept hitting my sister. This bitch was superhuman. I hit another chick and saw her head bust open. She fell to the ground and then two of the girls started hitting me. After what felt like hours, I realized that me and my sister were not gonna win this fight. I ran to my house and saw that the front door was open. My mom was sitting on the couch, I could see her through the screen door. I pounded on the door and yelled "Chelle's getting jumped!" Man, you should have seen how fast my momma flew off that couch. Now, my mom is a bigger woman. And she has a bad knee. But she was MOVING.OUT. She ran down the street. All of a sudden, a car drove up and all the girls jumped in it and drove off.

Chelle wasn't hurt (I guess she put in some work after I ran) and she was able to walk home. My parents went to the house where all the girls were posted but no one would come to the door. We went back home and called the police. The police found the dumb broads around the corner re-enacting the fight. LOL! We pressed charges. I can't remember exactly what happened to them though.

For a while, my sister was mad at me because I ran. And for a while, I was pissed at her ass because she was talking shit to 6 big bitches when she knew we were outnumbered. I wasn't afraid to fight but hell, all I had was my padlock. I was skinny...my fists weren't gonna do anything. There were no bricks around. Oh yeah, I will hit a broad with a brick in a minute.

That's the only fight I have ever been in. My sister was still talking big shit and still fighting broads for a long time after that. I think she's calmed down some now but if yall think I have an anger problem...whoa. Not compared to my sister.

What would you have done? Ran to get help or stayed there and gotten beat down? LOL

Sorry for my lack of enthusiasm in the last post. I just couldn't believe my eyes...seeing my beloved team get blown out by 36 points. They played terribly.

However, yesterday's game was full of excitement. Delonte finally stepped up and Boobie's 3 pointers were much needed as well.
I just have to say this. Deshawn Stevenson is a bitch. How old is this dude? He's acting like he's 15. Crying about some he say/she say, making himself look like an IDIOT by calling one of the best in the game overrated, mocking LeBron and then uh, LOSING. If he's trying to call attention to himself, he's succeeded but does he realize that it's all negative???
If it was only talk, I'd laugh it off and roll my eyes but he's playing dirty (hitting LeBron in the head in yesterday's game) and that shit is weak. If you are so good, let your game speak for you. Why resort to the trash talking and the flagrant fouls?
I understand that playoff basketball is more rough than regular season ball, I get that. But damn, this shit is not football!
I appreciate the fact that LeBron is being the bigger person in this. He keeps saying that there is no rivalry, that he doesn't know Stevenson and that he doesn't have a problem with him. Even if he doesn't like him, he's not feeding into the negativity.
I was cracking up at LeBron's postgame interview. When a reporter asked him whether he thought Washington could come back from being down 3-1:

"Do I think they can come back?"

"No."

LMAO! He said it serious as hell. I love that dude. LOL!

The Washington Wizards are a joke. I hope they're planning their summer vacations because they're not making it out of the first round. For the fourth time. In a row. Losers.

Anyway, I realize that I was supposed to post pics from Vegas and I have some others to post too but Blogger is not allowing me to. Or it could be this firewall. I don't know.

Ehhh...I have an orientation to do. And I'm hungry. Later!

I Have NO Post

Fucking Cavs, man.

Two Thoughts For the Day

*Guys, it's ok to make noise when you're having sex. Don't scream like a chick but some (authentic) moaning and groaning is good. Nobody wants to fuck a ninja.

*Our new receptionist is even CHATTIER than Chatty Kathy. I hesitate even walking up there because I know I'll be stuck for at least 37 minutes while she talks to me about nothing. I.Cannot.Take.This.

:::

Beyond my two thoughts...I was listening to my iPod (I got a Touch! I said it would be mine and I made it happen!) this morning and there's a song by Musiq on there that I heard for the first time when Ash and I went to VA. I love the song, love the lyrics and the fact that Eric Roberson wrote it and is doing the background vocals is just icing on the cake.

"Previous Cats"

First things first, girl, recognize
Who is with you now
Second thing
Can't blame me for how
You were
Treated before
I came
See, I'm not Steven
Anthony, Ethan
Leroy or Ivan
Damn, girl, I've been
Right there for you
Since day one
So where is all this coming from?
See now
I'm not to blame
For the pain
That was caused
By previous cats
Who had your heart before me

I'm not to blame
For the pain
That was caused
By previous cats
You gotta see me for me

What is with all the questioning
About where I've been?
And why must you roll your eyes
When I say she's just a friend
I knew before?
Not like I
Call you Sabrina
Pam or Tanisha
Andrea either
Girl, we go deeper
Than any other
I had before
So tell me why you ignore?

See, now, I'm not to blame
For the pain
That was caused
By previous cats
Who had your heart before me, baby

I'm not to blame
For the pain
That was caused
By previous cats
You gotta see me for me

Now
I don't know
What those young boys did
To make you insecure
But I think you need to let it go
Let it go
Don't let your past
Get all in the way
Cause what is here today
May not be guaranteed tomorrow
I'm not out of mind
Just speaking my mind
When I say that I
Put in too much time
For another brother's
Crimes

Girl, I'm not to blame
For the pain
That was caused
By previous cats


:::

That's real talk right there...

Tagged!

THE Karrie B tagged me so here we go!

Here are the rules:


1. Link the person who tagged you…

2. Mention the rules in your blog…

3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours

4. Tag 6 bloggers by linking them

5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged



Uno: I think I used to have panic attacks when I was little. I remember I HATED going to the hospital, even if it wasn't me that was getting treated. I hated the smell, I hated the look...I used to feel panicky and sweaty. It was a mess. I have a very vivid memory of this. I used to lay my head in my little sister's lap to help myself get through it. I'm cool with hospitals now...I don't know what that was all about when I was younger.

Dos: What made me think about the panic attacks is the fact that I have a slight one whenever I hear tires screeching. After work last night someone was driving next to me and they slammed on their brakes to avoid hitting the car in front of them. My heart started to race, my palms got sweaty, I was gripping the hell out of my steering wheel. I think I'm still a little fucked up over that car accident. By the way, D and I went to The Boneyard the other night to watch the game. He was tired and didn't want to drive home so he asked me to drive his car. This foolio told me to drive carefully and not to "Virginia Beach" his car. He's such a bastard. LOL

Tres: The whole right side of my body is weirder than my left. The hair on the right side of my head is curlier than on the left. My right middle finger is bigger than my left one. My right foot is slightly bigger than my left. Not enough where I have to buy two different shoes but enough where one shoe is always uncomfortable.

Cuatro: Very rarely can I do a regular burp. My burps are internal and they sound weird. Also, my hiccups feel like heart attacks.

Cinco: I love to throw stuff away. I am the complete opposite of a pack rat. I take joy in being organized and having everything in its place.

Seis: I have a distinct method of showering and drying off. Like, I wash one arm, then the other, and then my neck, etc. When I noticed this about myself and tried to change it up, it felt WRONG. I almost got back in the shower to do it the regular way.

I'm tagging Opinionated Diva, Tom Gurl, Isis, Swag, Banana P and Rah.

Quick Post

Hello lovelies!

I have to do a quick post because I am SWAMPED over here. I came back to work to 277 emails. Seriously.

I had loads of fun in Vegas. Didn't make a come up but I only spent about $10 on gambling. LOL!

I saw two Cirque Du Soleil shows (Mystere and Zumanity). They were AMAZING.

I also saw Mike Tyson in Forever 21. LOL! I'll try to post pics from the trip but I won't be posting one of Iron Mike. I didn't take one. He looked like he could kill everyone in the store with his bare hands so we really didn't bother him.

I did not get a tan. Boo. It was nice there, about 78 degrees each day. But I just couldn't get enough sun.

I stayed in a suite at Treasure Island. It was so fabulous. The room was huge, it had his and her bathrooms...I did take pics of that so I'll post them soon.

Um, let's see...GO CAVS! That game last night...the ass whoopin of the century. Can't wait for Thursday's game.

Ok, I promise I'll try to do a real post tomorrow but I have SO MUCH WORK. That's the only thing about going on vaca...you have all this catching up to do when you get back.

BRB!

Viva Las Vegas!

Yesterday's game was the last game of the Cavs regular season. It was fan appreciation night. What a night to go. It was crazy there. They lost, LeBron didn't play...nobody really played... but I still had a shit load of fun.
Because it was fan appreciation night, the team planned on giving out 1 million dollars worth of prizes. A car, a home theater system, mortgage payments, trips, etc. Everyone got a goodie bag as they entered the arena. They got the players involved too. At the end of the game, they all autographed and gave away the jerseys and shoes that they wore while playing. That's kinda gross when you think about it but that shit will sell like hotcakes on eBay.
They also had the players throwing tee shirts out into the crowd between quarters. I caught two shirts. Daniel Gibson threw the first one directly to me. Before the game started, a few players walked out with some shirts to throw to the crowd. I don't know about the idiots sitting around me but I peeped this shit out. Boobie was walking in front of my section. I saw that he had 3 shirts. I stood up and yelled, "Can I have a shirt?!" As I was the only one standing up, he looked at me, smiled and threw me a shirt! Yeah...I love Boobie. And he loves me back.
LeBron looked fantastic last night. He is HOT. It was a good night.

So tomorrow...Vegas. When I say I cannot wait, do you really understand that I CANNOT WAIT?! I think we have tickets to a Cirque show, I have some spa services set up and we just might go see Mary and Jigga. But more important than all that...I will be able to get some color! YES!!!!!!! Everytime I go see my parents, I walk in the house and my Daddy (why am I 28 and still call that man Daddy?) squints and tells me I need to get a tan. LOL! I will most certainly be all up in that 80 degree sun tomorrow. With sunscreen. Burning and peeling is not a good look. Been there when I went to Miami. Don't wanna go there again.

I hope you all have a good weekend!



Oh, oh...p.s. Swag is about to become my blog boyfriend. Where the hell did all that sexy come from?

Color Quiz

I took this quiz at http://www.colorquiz.com/. Plus I needed something to post about sooo...LOL
Here are my results:

YOUR EXISTING SITUATION
Sensitive; needs esthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm intimacy.
Very true. D says that I'm sometimes too sensitive. I admit...I'm an emotional chick but I will kick your fucking ass if need be.


YOUR STRESS SOURCES
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.
Man...I don't know about this one. I do hesitate to show weakness. I sorta detest weakness in others. But I don't think that I do anything on purpose to portray myself as unique and distinctive. Hmmmm...


YOUR RESTRAINED CHARACTERISTICS
An unadmitted lack of confidence makes her careful to avoid open conflict and she feels she must make the best of things as they are. Feels that things stand in her way, that circumstances are forcing her to compromise and forgo some pleasures for the time being.
Aw, man. LOL! When I really, really thought about this...it's true. I do sometimes tend to just make the best of what I have instead of fighting for what I really want. I hate conflict and I do try to avoid it. Unless you have done me wrong and then I will fight your ass. That lack of confidence will remain UNADMITTED because I don't think that's true! LOL! Unless they mean, lack of confidence to go and find and fight for the things I want. Then, maybe...
As far as circumstances and compromise...that is OH SO true. I don't really feel like I've started living yet. Right now my main goal is to finish school and then life will come after that. There is so much that I want to do but school is priority numero uno.


YOUR DESIRED OBJECTIVE
Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of experience. Wants to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt, to win, and to live intensely. Likes contacts with others and is enthusiastic by nature. Receptive to anything new, modern, or intriguing; has many interests and wants to expand her fields of activity. Optimistic about the future.
This describes me down to the T. There isn't much that can get me down. I believe deeply that there is always someone worse off than me and that life is what you make it. Who am I to complain about anything? I have been so, so blessed. I really could not ask for more.


YOUR ACTUAL PROBLEM
Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments.
Um, maybe. I guess sometimes I am on some "look at me, be proud of me" type stuff. Is that an actual problem? LOL! Screw off, Color Quiz!

Posting Spree

I don't think yall realize how amazing it is that I'm posting this frequently. It is in fact, amazing. It really is.

:::

Why won't American Express let me pay them? I have been trying to pay them via Western Union for like 5 days. They can't get it together. Said they can't find the code city or some shit. I have the money!!! Please, please let me pay you!!!!!

:::

My BFF is insane. She said she doesn't want to go back out into the dating world. I can understand that. These mofos are crazy out here. When I pressed for more info she told me that a number of guys have approached her on some off the wall type shit, being real disrespectful. She said that she doesn't know what it is about her that makes guys approach her that way...but that it must be something about her.
*scrrreeeeeechhhhh* Err...what? Cannot compute. How does what some random jigga on the streets says to you become a reflection of who you are???? How about what he says is a reflection of HIMSELF and his own fucked up mentality?
Lord have mercy on my soul, I just want to shake some sense into her!

:::

OMG, that Cavs game last night! LOL! I love it!

:::

They won home court advantage which means that the game I'm going to tomorrow...they really won't be playing. They've already won what they wanted to play for. Dammit.

:::

Dah, well. I'm still going.

:::

Thought I was going to Chicago this weekend but...I'll be in Vegas, baby! I can't wait! 80 degrees here I come!

:::

Rah, I removed myself from the book club. Apparently, there was this whole big *thing* about me missing the meeting to go to the game. Even though they knew the circumstances. Oh well.

:::

What would you do if you knew your boss was lying to you about something thinking that you no longer talked to the person you could get the truth from? *sigh*

:::

I am halfway done paying for my car. Yay!!!!

I have a 5 year loan. Boo. LOL!

:::

I have been converted. I l.o.v.e. my contacts. I almost feel like I can see THROUGH shit they are so clear.


Work to do. Ta-ta for now!

It's Official

I need to get laid. My last couple posts have been about sex, touches, kisses...I NEED some sexing, touching and kissing, dammit! LOL!

How was your weekend? Mine was good:

FRIDAY - Saw Bruce Bruce at the Improv. He was HILARIOUS and I was surprised to see he's lost TONS of weight. My stomach hurt I laughed so hard. His opening act was Gina Yashere. I had seen her before but I'd forgotten how funny she is. She's Nigerian but was born in the UK. The accent...it was sooooo TomGurl! I LOVED it!

D and I went together and he bought two extra tickets. He asked his bestfriend Kevin to go and I asked Ashmo to go as his date. They were SO cute together! Ash was feeling a little un-confident because she'd just gotten bangs cut into her hair and she hated them. I think she was trying to stand Kev up but I threatened her life and all was well. She looked fine (her bangs are really cute!) and Kev was feeling her. Just call me matchmaker.

SATURDAY - Searched all over town for the book I was supposed to have read for my book club meeting scheduled for later that evening. I couldn't find it anywhere! I had tickets to the Indians game (Club seats!!!) but I had given them to D so he could take his Dad. I missed the previous book club meeting and felt bad so I was going to pass up the game tickets.

Well, Dad cancelled and D's little sister couldn't go to the game with him. (And I'll be DAMNED if he takes another broad to the game with MY tickets - whether we are together or not! LOL) It was meant for me to go! D and I get downtown and it's cold and rainy. We make a plan to stay for a few innings and then bounce. However, the Club Lounge was THE SHIT! Free food and drinks. We had burgers, hot dogs, pizza, nachos, salad...it was SO, SO good! No wonder those tickets are so damn expensive! We went and sat outside for a bit, watched about two innings, saw some drunk bastards get kicked out the lounge and then went home.

SUNDAY - Picked up my granny from church and went to the memorial service for my uncle. The hospice where he lived until he passed has a memorial service every year for the people who were in their care. My aunt and my cousin (my uncle's only child) met us there. The service was beautiful. People read poetry, there was music and singing. I sorta lost it when they did the reading of the names. I miss my uncle so, so much. It just doesn't seem like he should be dead.

I think it's really nice that they do something like this every year. They keep in contact with my granny, they even go visit her.

That's me and my Granny after the service. She's so fly. Don't we look alike? LOL! She said that I'm gonna look exactly like her when I get to her age (78 years young). I can only hope!

Before you check out this post, read the one that I did on Saturday. WTF...blogging on the weekend? Who am I?

I don't know what it was. I had that story in my head and I just had to get.it.out.

People say I'm a good writer but I HATE writing. I really do believe I suck at it. Especially when I read the shit that La writes. Can I get a wow? LOL!

How can you be good at something you hate? Is that even possible? I think the only reason that story might have come out halfway decent is because...well...it's factually fictional so nevermind. *wink*

So, I was home alone and I started taking pictures. With my phone. Tell me what you think. But...keep in mind that I'm an artist. And I'm sensitive about my shit.

Ha! Not really...I just always wanted to say that. One hug to the person who can tell me who actually said that.

The shelf. The photo is of me and one of my uncles. Kevin. He passed away from cancer a few years ago. Ironic that I'll be going to a memorial service in just a few hours for my other uncle...well you all know about that. I blogged about it.

It was drizzling the other day. The rain could only touch the front part of the balcony.

I really do think that I might have THE most comfortable bed in the universe. I really like this picture. It screams nap to me.

The balcony door was open and a nice breeze was blowing through. I wanted to catch the movement of the blinds.

I just sat on the couch and took a picture. It happened to be of my toes. LOL! It was nice to just come home, open the balcony door, not even cut on the TV...just relax.

The Christmas lights that are still up. In April. LOL!

Factually Fictional

My phone rings. It's Homegirl.

"Bitch, what are you doing?"

"Shit, watching the game."

"Pack some shit, we're going on a road trip."

"What? Where? When...huh?"

"I'll be there in 60."

I roll off the bed and look around my room. Road trip. It's a Friday. I'll probably need enough stuff for the entire weekend. I pull my travel bag out of the closet and start filling it up. Panties, socks, tank tops, jeans, tee shirts, sweat pants. I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth quickly. Put it into the container and set it aside along with my toothpaste, deoderant, body wash. I grab a couple towels and a face cloth.
I study my face in the mirror. Look at my hair. I'd just had it done. The curls were cute. Loose and blunt. Flipping over and under. I liked that look. However, my bangs look a little...off. I plug in my flat iron and walk out the bathroom as I grab my toiletries. I stuff everything into my travel bag and consider taking another shower. I'd just taken one no more than an hour ago. I vetoed that idea. I figured I should change out of my pajama pants so I throw on some sweats.
I go back into the bathroom, spray a tiny bit of Isoplus sheen on my bangs and run my flat iron over them. Ugh. They still look fucked. I unplug my iron, wrap it in a towel, throw it in my bag, put on some shoes, stuff my fucked up hair under a hat and wait for Homegirl.

Two hours later, we get to our destination and walk in. There are a number of people there. Only 4 pay rent. Greetings all around. Gorgeous condo. Cool peoples. We'll be staying there for the weekend. I wander around, trying to decide where I'll sleep since the two couches have already been spoken for. Upstairs, there's one room with the door closed.

"Whose room is this?"

One of the roommates answers me.

"Oh, that's D's. He should be here in a minute. Homegirl will be in my room, you can probably stay in D's room."

I don't go in, not wanting to intrude. I am a little unsure about sleeping in the room of someone I've never met but if D is like the other 3 roommates, it should be ok.
I go back downstairs, walk into the kitchen and I see him. Got.Damn. I feel like I've been punched in the chest. I was laughing as I walked into the kitchen. My laughter's cut short when I lay my eyes on him. Tallish. Smooth, dark brown skin. Fresh fade. The sideburns and goatee are precise. He smiles at me. I weaken. Perfect white teeth. Shit.
I take in his gray Rocawear sweatsuit. Zip up hoodie. Sweatpants. Slightly baggy. White tee underneath, crisp white Forces.

"Hey, I'm Homegirl's friend, M."

"What's up, I'm D. You want another drink?"

"Yeah, thanks."

He makes the drink. Then he reaches for me.

"Let's see what's going on under this hat."

He pulls my hat off. I feel my curls tumble towards my shoulders. Feel my bangs frame my face. Thank God I got my hair done.

"Yeah...that's nice."

I can do nothing but smile.

We leave the kitchen and join the rest of the party in the living room. All night, it's as if we are tied together at the waist with invisible rope. We have a connection. The chemistry is definitely there. At first, the rope is taut. We engage ourselves within different groups of people, avoiding being too close. Yet, sneaking glances at each other. I smile shyly. He looks away quickly.

There's some slack in the rope.

I observe his interactions with his friends. Male and female. He's funny. Quick-witted. Smart. Hard with his boys. Teasing his female friends. I imagine how he must have been in high school. Probably popular. He has that cool demeanor, like everyone wanted to be his friend.

I catch him staring at me. More slack.

Homegirl breaks out her camera. The rope disappears. He and I pose for pictures. Being silly.

The hour grows late and people start to leave. Those too tipsy to drive home take up residence on the couches. Homegirl and Roomie head up to his room. I follow behind them. As Roomie gets an extra blanket and pillow for Homegirl, he starts to sing a Marvin Gaye song. I am entranced. His voice is strong but mellow. Beautiful.
I stay there for a beat, look down the hallway. There's a soft light coming from D's room. I say goodnight to Homegirl and Roomie. Close the door behind me as I leave.

I stand in his doorway, knock lightly. Don't want to enter until I'm invited. He's digging around in his closet, doesn't look at me but tells me to come in.
I look around. Futon, lamp, computer, TV, stereo, crates full of records, a dresser. There's a portrait of Miles Davis above the computer desk. He painted it. I see his signature at the bottom. In the corner, slightly behind the small entertainment center is a blown up picture of him and a girl. She's white. Hair pulled back in a bun. Part in the middle. Cute but not really pretty. Too much makeup. I can see the top of the Baby Phat logo on her shirt. Ah, she's one of those. I had immediately noticed how neat his room was. Light, fresh scent. Everything in its place. The only dust in the room was on that picture. Of them. That somehow made me feel better.

"Roomie told me you were sleeping in here with me."

"Um, yeah, I hope that's cool."

"Oh, yeah, you're good. I can sleep on the floor if you don't feel comfortable sharing my bed."

I think quickly. There is no way...

"Naw, I wouldn't make you do that."

...I am not going to get a chance to cuddle with him.

He folds the futon down, puts down extra pillows and a blanket. He turns on the television and asks me if I have something to sleep in. He offers me one of his shirts. I take it and head to the bathroom. I slide my sweats off. Take off my shirt. I decide to leave my bra on. I slip off the road-weary panties I have been wearing all night. I turn on the water, wait for it to get hot. I soap up my hands and do a quick wash between my legs. I giggle at myself in the mirror. I know I won't be fucking him tonight and the fact that I am still washing up makes me laugh.
I rinse off and use some tissue to dry her. I step into the lacy panties that actually match the bra I'm wearing. I smuggled them and my toothbrush out of the room when he wasn't looking. I brush the alcohol off my teeth and tongue, pull his shirt over my head, and walk back into his room. By this time he's already in bed and the only light is from the glow of the TV.
I am able to see that he has on a black wifebeater. The rest of his body is underneath the blanket. His black doo-rag is tied around his head. He's on the left side of the bed, head propped up on his elbow, flipping through the channels. He settles on MTV. Jackass is on.
I sit on the floor, putting my discarded clothes into my travel bag. I listen to him laugh. He has a great laugh.
I consider tying my hair up in my silk scarf but decide against that quickly. My curls will hold. Plus my big holey scarf did not scream sexy. I stuff the scarf deep down into the bottom of my bag.

I slide into bed, next to him. His body is warm. I'm not touching him but I can feel his heat. If I face the TV, my ass will be all in his crotch. This futon is not that big. I panic slightly. I don't want to do too much too soon. I don't want to give him the wrong idea. If only he would make the first move. I'd be able to follow suit.

I'm not laying there long before he pulls me closer to him. Drapes his arm around my waist. His chest is touching my back. I feel him when he laughs. He has an extremely deep voice. Because we are so close, I know that he has on long pants. Thinner than his Rocawear sweats. I imagine how sexy he must look. I giggle.

"This shit is funny, right?"

I wasn't even paying attention to the TV. But I tell him, yeah, these dudes are hilarious.

"I can cut this off if you are ready to go to sleep."

I roll over and face him. My breath catches when he looks directly into my eyes. His arm does not move from my waist.

"Naw, you can watch it. I like to fall asleep with the TV on."

I slyly snuggle closer to him. He helps by pulling me into his chest. Because of the slight awkwardness of the position, I have no choice but to throw my leg over his. I think I hear him sigh. My mouth and nose are touching his neck. I could kiss him if I wanted to. I'm tempted. Instead, I inhale his scent. He smells incredible. Curve cologne. It does something to me.
He rubs my back lightly, moves to my thigh. Rubs the leg that has been thrown over him. I let him. He clears his throat and quickly moves his arm back to my waist.

I am in this intimate embrace with a man I have known for only hours. Really, if everything were completely innocent, there'd be space between us. Even on this small futon. There is none. But I am strangely comfortable. He turns off the television and adjusts his body for sleep.
His hand migrates to my back. Rubbing lightly. Again.

"So, tell me about you, yo."

I guess we're going to talk now. We talk about our families, where we grew up, school, work, music. I've found it hard to speak directly into his neck without kissing him so I have rolled onto my back. One of my arms is over my head, playing in my hair. He's laying on one of his arms and with his other hand he's rubbing my belly. Right in the middle. Not too close to her and not too close to my breasts. I am in anguish and wildly distracted. But still, we talk.

Our voices become more and more soft. My body is tired but my mind is racing. The conversation dies down, we're no longer laughing. But he's still caressing my skin. We are extremely close. All night, I have felt the insistent prods from his erection. He's done nothing to hide it. Is that on purpose? I cannot answer that question.

My eyes have adjusted to the darkness so I see him lick his lips. His hand stops rubbing but his thumb continues the action. He leans down towards me. I take a breath. He's so close...so close.

Our lips touch. The moan escapes before I have time to catch it. He squeezes my waist. We kiss. He uses his lips to step into my mind. His tongue is warm and wet. He's a damn good kisser. I am so relaxed, I don't realize I have put my arm around his neck. He doesn't rush. He just continues to kiss me. Intensely. Finally, pulling me closer. My body is preparing itself for penetration. I can feel how wet she has become. His hand slowly, slowly moves higher, right below my breast. Shit. Shit. Shit. He moans. It drives me insane. I feel like I'm slipping.
Oh God, I need air, I need AIR!

I gently push him away.

"Shit."

He laughs. If his chocolate skin was light, I'd see him blushing.

"I'm sorry, you know...if I was out of line for doing that."

I pause. Not because I don't know what to say but because in that instant, I cannot physically speak.

"I liked it. A lot. You're uh...pretty good at that."

Damn, that was lame. I beat myself up mentally.

He laughs.

"Yo, I dig you, M. I want to get to know you. Can I do that?"

I smile.

"Yeah. Yeah, you can."

TMI...Friday?

I saw this on X Factor's blog and stole it. LOL! I'm admitting that shit straight out. I. Stole. It.
Hell, we all do it. Don't judge me.

For some reason, sex has been on my mind A LOT lately so this fit.

1. Lace or silk? How about both? I love how silky panties feel but love how lacy ones look.

2. Do you subscribe to (or regularly buy) any "dirty" magazines? Which ones? No...do women do this?

3. Have you ever had sex in the water (tub/pool/lake/ocean)? Tried it in the pool but that didn't work out so well. Have done it a FEW times in the shower. I don't give a FUCK about getting my hair wet. I'll blow dry it later. Or if I'm really good...HE'LL blow dry it later. LOL!

4. The three words that best describe you in bed are... Vocal, hungry, soaked.
Hahahahahaha!

5. The three words that best describe your most recent partner in bed are... Talented, vocal, large. LMAO!

6. Did you lose your virginity as an impetuous youth, "to prove that you loved him," because of a romantic gesture, a newlywed, or other? He was my first real boyfriend so I thought it was the right thing to do. Eh.

****BONUS ROUND****
Name three words that:
Get you excited: Ooh shit, girl
Make you squirm: 'Bout to cum
Make you laugh: Shh, be quiet

Part Deux (That means Two, right?)

So yeah...the accident.

Ash and I left the boy's house after getting the sunglasses and were driving down the street about to jump on the freeway. Some arsehole decided he wanted to get on the freeway too so he slammed on his brakes in the middle of traffic. Him slamming on his brakes caused a chain reaction of brake slamming, me included. Except I slid in the rain and slammed my ass right into another car. The front passenger side light and bumper were crushed on the G6 and the back driver end of the car I hit was messed up. We all got out to check for injuries and what not. I'm standing outside in the rain, just in shock that all that had actually happened. Dude I hit called the police and while we waited for them another accident almost happened right next to our car. Some guy's car just cut off while he was driving. The car that was following too closely behind him almost hit him.

The police arrived and told us to drive to the parking lot of the Best Buy that was just up the street. We got there, told him what happened, he got our info, dude and I exchanged info and the officer told me that I wasn't at fault. Two witnesses saw the dude that caused the accident and how he fled the scene.

By this time, the boys had been informed that we were in an accident so they met us at the Best Buy. I called Enterprise to see what we needed to do with the car because I couldn't drive it with only one headlight. Plus when we made right turns it sorta made a BRUHBHHBHB noise. They told me they would call a tow truck to tow it and they would see if I could get another car from the airport to get home. They got back on the line, told me a tow truck was on the way but that the airport was out of cars so I'd have to wait til morning to get one. *sigh*

Ash and the rest of the crew went back to the house while Smurf and I waited for the tow truck. About an hour later, we were on our way back to the house. I called my insurance company to report the accident and Richard fixed me a drink. I was sorta stuck on stupid for the rest of the night. I passed out around 11pm. Got up the next morning, Smurf and Shan dropped us off at the airport, we got another car and peaced out.

So, that was our weekend. Lots of good times, a couple bad ones. We already told the boys that the next time we come down we are definitely flying.

I'm home again today so it's back to the couch. Later!